The Way It Is
by natlski
Summary: "I think there will be a lot of old nightmares reoccurring tonight." Post-Ep for "Evidence of Things Not Seen"


Title: The Way It Is Author: natlski Spoilers: Everything through "Evidence of Things Not Seen" Characters/Pairing: Josh and C.J. friendship Summary: "I think there will be a lot of old nightmares reoccurring tonight." Rating: G Disclaimers: Nope, they don't belong to me and it would cost someone more to think about suing me then they would ever be able to get from me.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Josh awoke with a startled cry. He sat up, clutching his chest and gasping for breath. The mangled sounds of gun shots, screams, and strains of music faded from his ears as he became aware of a gentle hand on his shoulder and a quiet voice calling his name.  
  
"You're alright, it was just a dream."  
  
He sagged back against the cushions of the couch, the adrenaline rush leaving him and taking any remaining energy with it. He closed his eyes and covered his face with shaking hands, moaning as he felt the mixture of sweat and tears on his face. The gentle hand remained on his shoulder, grounding him to reality.  
  
"It's been months. Months." His voice was muffled.  
  
"Are you surprised? I think there will be a lot of old nightmares reoccurring tonight."  
  
Josh gave a cynical laugh and dropped his hands. He turned his head and opened his eyes, locking his gaze with C.J.'s. "Donna called Stanley."  
  
C. J. leaned back in her chair breaking her contact with Josh. "Did you talk to him?"  
  
He sighed and closed his eyes. "No."  
  
"Josh."  
  
He pushed himself upright and turned to sit facing his friend. "I wasn't even there. I was in the Roosevelt Room and barely even heard the shots."  
  
"And after many, many months you just had a nightmare about Rosslyn."  
  
"C.J."  
  
"Mi Amore, it's alright. You don't need to get angry with me. I'm just worried about you."  
  
Josh closed his tired eyes again and banged his head against the back of the couch a few times before speaking. "Are you okay? I mean, you were right there. The window." His voice trailed off.  
  
After the crash had been lifted and he'd finished with Joe Quincy he had gone to the pressroom. The Secret Service had still been there and the window wasn't boarded up yet. The broken glass had made his blood run cold and his stomach still felt queasy. It was the realization of how close a call it had been that drove him on shaky legs to C.J.'s office. The room had been empty, the poker game in Leo's office apparently still going on. He had settled himself on the couch to await C.J.'s return. It hadn't taken long for the events of the day, the exhaustion of the week, and his spring cold to catch up with him and he had soon drifted off to sleep.  
  
"I'm okay. I was scared. But I'm okay." C.J. regarded her friend slumped on her couch, looking like a rag doll discarded by a careless child.  
  
When the poker game had broken up she'd given a quick briefing to the few reporters that had been in the building and retreated to the sanctuary of her office. Her plan had been to feed Gail, collect her things and head home. She hadn't been surprised however, to find the Deputy Chief of Staff stretched out asleep on her couch. They hadn't seen each other since the beginning of the evening and C.J. had been curious to know how Josh was doing in light of the evening's events. So she had busied herself with reports that really could have waited while she kept one eye on her sleeping friend. Only about 15 minutes had gone by before Josh had become restless and C.J. had moved the visitor's chair around to face the couch.  
  
"The guy I was interviewing tonight."  
  
"Joe Quincy?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"He's cute."  
  
Josh scowled at C.J. who smiled sweetly in return. "He's Republican, but I'm recommending Leo hire him."  
  
C.J. raised her eyebrows.  
  
"Think Ainsley Hayes."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Anyway, he said something to me," Josh's head remained on the back of the couch, but his hands began moving in front of him as he spoke. C.J. smiled at the typical Josh Lyman mannerisms. "He asked if I'd heard the shots and I told him I'd heard a brass quintet playing the First Noel and just assumed somebody somewhere was locked and loaded."  
  
C.J.'s eyebrows went up again and she held back a smirk at Josh's attempts at misdirection.  
  
"He said something to me. He said 'the people I talked to don't believe that story and the people you'd like don't care.'"  
  
"It's a good observation."  
  
"There was a time."  
  
"I know, mi amore, I know." C.J. leaned forward and placed a reassuring hand on his knee. "You look like crap, Josh. You should go to bed."  
  
A smirk played across his face and he raised one eyebrow. "Is that an offer?"  
  
C.J. grabbed his hand and pulled him to his feet. "In your wildest dreams."  
  
"Be better then the dreams I'll probably be having." He said with a frown. C.J. pulled him into an embrace that he returned. "I'm not too excited about sleeping tonight." Josh admitted to C.J.'s collarbone.  
  
"Let's get Toby and Donna and go get drunk on your front stoop. It's been a while."  
  
C.J. felt Josh deflate a little more and immediately knew the source of his added sadness. Sam Seaborn had been on her mind since Toby and Will had pulled her to the ground and she had experienced her own little flashback of shattering glass and Sam's strong hands on her shoulders. "I miss him, too." Her hand rubbed gentle circles on Josh's back and he heaved a sigh.  
  
"It was never supposed to be like this."  
  
"Come on, let's get the others. We can call Spanky from your place." Breaking the embrace, she grabbed her bag from the other visitor's chair and dragged a morose Josh from her office by the hand.  
  
"It won't be the same."  
  
"I know, but it's the way it is."  
  
"It was never supposed to be like this." Josh repeated, following C.J. through the darkened halls of the West Wing.  
  
~~finis~~ 


End file.
